thefreshfaced.com

Tell me if this sounds familiar:

I am minding my own business when the mail comes and I find a flyer offering me a 14-day trial membership at a gym. I think, “Hey, maybe this would be good for me. I am starting to look that kid from INTO THE WILD after he eats those berries. Plus, the endorphins might give me a little more energy.” So I decided to take them up on their offer.

(My goal weight)

I enter the gym, hand the man at the front desk my flyer and ask about the 14-day trial membership. He hands me a form asking for all types of information, like name, address, how I heard about this, favorite color, favorite baby animal, etc. Then he tells me to hold on. He needs to speak to the manager.

Five minutes later, the manager, let’s call him Al, comes to the front desk, drinking a Muscle Milk. He has a oiled pony tail and tribal tattoo on his arm. He offers to give me a tour of the place: freeweights, machines, cardio. Nothing too revolutionary here. But then the sales pitch starts.

“You ever been to a gym before?”

“Yes,” I respond, feeling about as good as the day when my mom tried to cheer me up in high school by telling me that I had nice glasses and braces. I then tell him that I used to work out but stopped for a bit.

He snickers a little and invites me back to his desk. We sit down, and immediately another manager type with a BIC-ed head and shaved arms comes rolling over in his chair.

“I run this place. You’re gonna want to get to know me,” he says. He then rolls his chair back over to his desk.

Al pulls out a binder full of promotional material about the club, showing me maps of the local facilities and hours of operation, etc. I ask him to see a list of their monthly prices. They don’t have a list. It’s the type of place where the prices are all “for you” (ie, “For you, because you look like a nice guy, I can let it go for $100, etc…” This pricing model is also used on used car lots, swap meets, and mafia contracting jobs. And in national heath club chains.

He tells me that it will be $34.99 per month to use the gym, along with about $130 in initiation fees.

I tell Alex that I appreciate his help, but I first want to work out at least once before making a decision.

He stares at me for a second and then says, “Okay, I can knock off $30 off your initiation fees. For you.”

I tell Alex that I appreciate his help, but I first want to work out at least once before making a decision.

He asks me if I am a student. I tell him no. I am not a student. He then asks me if I was just a student. I tell him no, I am not a student. I graduated three years ago. It’s flattering for a girl to mistaken for a college student, but not for guys. When I picture myself in college — the failed facial hair experiments, concave chest, oversized t-shirts — I cringe. My self-esteem is beginning to wane and I think I want to take a nap now. The hell with this work out.

Alex tells me he can give me the student discount.

“Thanks. But I’m not really ready to sign up just yet. I want to at least test out my trial membership.”

“So you’re saying that the price doesn’t matter to you if you like the gym?”

“No. The price matters. I’m just not ready to make a decision just yet.”

“How many times do you think you’ll work out in the next 2 weeks?”

I tell him I’m not sure. “Maybe 5,” I guess. He chuckles.

“Well, the rates will probably change next month. You can lock in a rate right now.” I’m signing up for a gym, not an adjustable rate mortgage. I’m pretty sure that the gym’s rates — all of which are unpublished and “for you” priced — will be similar.

“No thanks. I would just like to work out today.”

“Okay,” he shakes my hand and offers me his card. “I’ll call you later this week to check in.”

Approximately 35 minutes after stepping foot in the gym, I am ready to work out. On the first machine — a rowing machine — I somehow manage to get my shirt caught on the handle and the sleeve of my t-shirt rips off. I didn’t make it to a second exercise.

Perhaps, I’m being too harsh. After all, I knew that the trial membership is a sales tool to get new leads into the gym. But it seems to me that a gym will sell itself; you either like it or you don’t. There is no need for the boiler-room tactics that make casual exercisers uncomfortable. Plus, now that I know the prices are so flexible, I can’t help but think that any rate I lock in will be higher than others.

For us freshfaced kids out of college, it is often difficult to find our first jobs. Craigslist is great, but for those of us who can’t afford to work for a slightly used Ikea sofa, I’ve recently created a site listing jobs–from the entertainment to internet to fashion– in the Southern California area. Check it out.

If there is an industry or area that you don’t see, but would like to, please leave me a comment.

This is a big day for me. I just received my first piece of fanmail. It appears that I am a big hit with some of the older, more mature readers.

—– Original Message —-
From: XXXX@aol.com”
To: XXXXX@thefreshfaced.com
Sent: Monday, October 15, 2007 6:16:04 PM
Subject: thefreshfaced

Dear B,

LOL!

Your bit on the cashier (true, true) (NOTE: see October 9th post on shopping). You have caesar salad at Target? Isn’t that as bad as the hot dog I allegedly bought you at Bradlees? Also, we older women love our capris. For your very old, not so fresh faces, most of the teen cashiers need to be reminded to give us the senior discount and don’t get my fabulous sense of humor when I say, “I know it is hard to believe I am a senior, but give me the discount, please”. That gives me an idea for a savings technique, befriend a senior and go shopping with them on senior day. I loved the part about your brother and his pants. By the way, I did wash them every night.

Love, XXXXX

Okay, if you haven’t figured it out, the fanmail was from my mother. It still counts.

Last week it was my girlfriend’s birthday. She said she didn’t want anything, but I knew better than to play that game. So I made her this slideshow (free courtesy of Slide.com) full of all her favorite things in this world. SEG, I hope you enjoy this.

I just stumbled upon this great site called 43 Things.  It’s a social networking site that allows you to write a list of your goals and share them with others who are seeking to achieve the same things — sort of like a public to-do list.   The site also sends you frequent reminders.  It’s an excellent way to finally put your aspirations in writing and to let you know that you aren’t in it alone.  After all, a goal doesn’t really become real until it is written down.

You can check out my profile here:

http://www.43things.com/person/thefreshfaced

Right now, I just have “Saving Money” as my goal but I just started.  I plan on adding more goals soon.

I lived on a couch for 3 months. There. I said it. But before you judge me, know that I’m not alone. In fact, there is a common saying around these parts that goes, “The LA experience begins on a couch.” While I was struggling at the time (my bed, desk, and entire bedroom was actually just a long brown couch in the living room of my friend’s one-bedroom apartment), I like to think that I kept it classy.

(Image via Tinpot.com)

Here are just a few tips to couch surf with some elegance:

-Know when you’ve worn out your welcome. When couch-surfing you basically have a 3 month maximum at one place, assuming this is a very good friend. After that, people start asking questions: When will you be leaving? Where is the orange juice? Why is my tooth brush wearing out quicker than normal?

If you are traveling light (ie, one duffel bag or less), try to stay with several people for small bits of time, say week long “vacations.” A week is a great length of time because at that point you are still a guest and your “host” (I mean this in the hospitality sense, not the parasitic one) will feel obligated to treat you nicely (warm bath towels, dinners, etc). After a week, when they start asking you to vacuum or chip in for groceries, you know it’s time to leave.

-Be as invisible as possible. Your host doesn’t want to be reminded of the fact that there is some liberal arts major sleeping on the couch in his bachelor pad. If you have a lot of extra stuff, think about storing it in your car; many people forget that a car can double as a closet. Or when sleeping on a couch in a high-travel area, make sure to “make your couch” in the morning. This will let your host know that you are classy.

(Via livable-neighborhoods.org)

-If you are there for longer than 2 weeks, offer to pay as much rent as you can afford. You are a couch-surfer, not a freeloader. If you can’t afford any rent, offer to do chores instead, such as washing dishes, walking the dogs, or giving relationship and/or career advice.

-If there is a party going on in the living room, and people are socializing on your “bed” when you want to sleep, you must wait it out or find another place to sleep. You must bend to your host’s social schedule, not vice versa.

-When sleeping, it’s best to remove the back cushions for extra space and to bring your own pillow. This will give you the added support you need for a good night’s sleep.

Hope this helps…

Oops, I forgot to include a clip of Michael Scott. This should shed some light on the previous post.

I think “The Office” is the funniest show on TV. The reason people I like it is that I can identify with Jim or Pam and laugh at the antics of Michael and Dwight. Indeed, Jim and Pam are main characters because they serve as the audience’s point of view. No one ever says, “Gee, that Jim guy is crazy” or on the flip side, “I am so Michael from The Office.”

But a while back I sent an email to a colleague laden with corporate jargon such as “looping you in,” “touch base,” and the phrase “if you could do XXX, that would be great…” After I sent it, I cringed. Later, I called my girlfriend and told her all about my day, unsolicited. I went into great detail about what I ate, how many sets on the benchpress I did (5. I’m not looking to build mass right now), and what traffic was like on the freeway. I monopolized the conversation and didn’t even bother to ask her about her day. I started to realize that maybe I was more Michael or Bill Lumbergh than I originally thought.

What makes someone like these characters is passive-aggressive communication and abusing power with a captive audience, so if you find yourself doing the following at home or at the office, you might be a little more like Michael and Bill than you want to be:

1. Using tons of corporate jargon that is circular and too euphemistic to really mean anything (ie, “looping in,” “circling back,” “pinging)

2. Asking questions you already know the answer to.

3. Phrasing commands as questions. (ie, ” So, Peter, what’s happening? Aahh, now, are you going to go ahead and have those TPS reports for us this afternoon?”)

3. Using email/text messaging or deferring to someone else to communicate important/difficult decisions when face-to-face communication or a phone call is possible.

5. Demanding to be the center of attention, at the expense of hearing about your colleagues, friends, and loved ones. If someone asks “How was your day?” and you answer, do you ask it back? Sometimes you don’t need to be the life of the party. Give someone else a chance.

When my brother was in kindergarten he wore the same grey corduroy for 25 consecutive days. On the 25th day, his teacher called my parents and asked if everything was okay at home. But my brother just liked these pants, which had an awesome loop on the leg to hold a hammer or other handtools, and refused to wear anything else.  My brother taught me that when you buy nice clothes that you like, there is no need to change them every day, or even every month. And when you are on a budget, you need clothes that will last and you need them cheap.

Here are a few tips when clothes shopping:

-Before you start shopping, start by taking inventory of what you already have. You really don’t need three pairs of shorts with embroidered sea critters on them. Okay, some of us do, but you should at least know what you already have so you don’t waste money on duplicates. One of the main goals, after all, is to create the illusion of having a more expansive wardrobe than you really do.

-Stay away from trendy clothes that will be out of style in 3 months (cigarette legged jeans for men, anyone?). Go for classic clothes that can last you a few years, like a good pair of khacki pants, golf shirts, and sweaters. And remember, no capri pants. Ever.

(Via www.fiftiesweb.com)

-Most stores offer end of season discounts on certain colors and fabrics. This is the time to make your move on those items you’ve been waiting for but couldn’t afford. Sign-up to receive emails from your favorite stores and you will know when these sales are going on.

-Before making a purchase online, do a search for coupons that can be used for that store. This will pull up any coupons that could be applied to your order, such as a free shipping offer.

- Try shopping at discount stores, such as TJ Maxx, Ross Dress for Less, Marshalls, and H&M, for some great hit-or-miss deals on designer clothing. For some of the older fresh faced kids out of college, some of these stores usually offer a senior citizen discount once a week.

-If you are trying to use a coupon that you think probably doesn’t apply to your purchase, don’t fret. Find the cashier that looks like he couldn’t care less about his/her job. This is the teenager chatting on his cell phone and/or shouting across the aisle to another cashier about how drunk he/she was three nights ago at Randy, the assistant manager’s, Beer-B-Q. This employee is your friend. Chances are he will barely look at your coupon and scan it on through. (NOTE: The Fresh Faced does not condone this activity).

-Places like Target and Walmart are great for basic clothing needs, like socks, underwear and undershirts. Plus, they usually have great food courts. I recommend the Caesar Salad.

-If you are really indie, love Death Cab for Cutie, and dress like Seth Cohen, thrift shops are good places to pick up some cool, hard to find items. But avoid the trendy thrift stores in nice areas; often times they overcharge and you will soon find yourself paying $70 for that ironic Peter Gabriel T-shirt. Stick to the out of the way stores off the beaten path. Yelp.com is a good place to find reviews on all types of stores . (NOTE: Yard Sales and eBay are also good places for this type of stuff.)

Well, that should be enough to get you started on your road to bargains…

After the 11th time I watched this video I had a realization : fresh faced kids right out of college are a lot like seagulls. We are both unpopular, annoying members of the animal kingdom, we reside on the lower rungs of the food chain, and we are forced to fight for scraps just to survive. Our diets of stale bread and Doritos are even similar.

What I like about this seagull is that he acts like he is a badass. He isn’t content to sit around and wait for women like my mother to feed him moldy bread like the rest of his friends. He wants better for himself. He sees what he wants and takes it. The best part is that no one tries to stop him because 1) he so confident and 2) he is a bird and avian law is deliberately vague.